Funny Christmas Poems
A Puppy's ChristmasIt's the day before Christmas
And all through the house
The puppies are squeaking
An old rubber mouse.
The wreath which had merrily
Hung on the door
Is scattered in pieces
All over the floor.
The stockings that hung
In a neat little row
Now boast a hole in
Each one of the toes.
The tree was subjected
To bright-eyed whims,
And now, although splendid,
It's missing some limbs.
I catch them and hold them.
"Be good", I insist.
They lick me, then run off
To see what they've missed.
And now as I watch them
The thought comes to me,
That their's is the spirit
That Christmas should be.
Should children and puppies
Yet show us the way,
And teach us the joy
That should come with this day?
Could they bring the message
That's written above,
And tell us that, most of all
Christmas is love.
Christmas Is Great ButChristmas is great but Everyones insain
Going crazy with this stupid Christmas game
wrapping gifts and cooking food
and no one has time there not in the mood
giving gifts to one another
no one has time for me only my brother
no attention for me at all
I cant even go to the mall
It gets Christmas morning and what do I see
But a huge Christmas present under the tree.
I'm Walking Backwards for ChristmasFunny christmas poem by Spike Milligan
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea,
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
It's the only thing for me.
I've tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front,
But people just look at me,
And say it's a publicity stunt.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
To prove that I love you.
An immigrant lad, loved an Irish colleen
From Dublin Galway Bay.
He longed for her arms,
But she spurned his charms,
And sailed o'er the foam away
She left the lad by himself, on his own
All alone, a-sorrowing
And sadly he dreamed, or at least that's the
way it seemed, buddy,
That an angel choir did sing -
An angel choir did sing.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
It's the finest thing for me.
And so I've tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front.
But people just laughed, and said,
"It's a publicity stunt".
So I'm walking backwards for Christmas
To prove that I love you.
If I could write words
Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,
What a bonfire my letters would make.
If I could speak words of water,
You would drown when I said
"I love you."
I'll be Cloned for ChristmasFunny Xmas by Hubert Wilson
I'll be cloned for Christmas -
You can count the many me's!
Please have plenty of food for my multiple brood -
And lotsa presents for the many me's to appease!
Christmas Eve will find the many me's -
Where the family screams!
I'll be cloned for Christmas -
But only in multiplying extremes!
Holly Jolly Christmas
Funny Xmas Poems by Johnny Marks 1962
Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow,
but have a cup of cheer.
Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
And when you walk down the street
Say Hello to friends you know
and everyone you meet.
Oh, ho, the mistletoe
hung where you can see;
Somebody waits for you;
Kiss her once for me.
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
and in case you didn't hear,
Oh by golly, have a holly,
jolly Christmas this year.
A Baby Just Like YouJohn Denver, J. Henry (c) 1975
The season is upon us now
A time for gifts and giving
And as the year draws to its close
I think about my living
The Christmas time when I was young,
The magic and the wonder,
But colors dull and candles dim,
And dark my standing under
O little Zachary, shining light
You've set my soul to dreaming
You've given back my joy in life
And filled me with new meaning
A Savior King was born that day,
A baby just like you,
And as the Magi came with gifts,
I come with my gift too
That peace on Earth fills up your time,
That brotherhood surrounds you.
That you may know the warmth of love,
And wrap it all around you
It's just a wish, a dream I'm told
From days when I was young
Merry Christmas, little Zachary
Merry Christmas, everyone
Merry Christmas, little Zachary
Merry Christmas, everyone.
All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front TeethFunny Xmas Poems
Every body stops
and stares at me
These two teeth are
gone as you can see
I don't know just who
to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
is as plain as it can be!
All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!
Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."
It seems so long since I could say,
"Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
if I could only whistle (thhhh, thhhh)
All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth.
Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas!"
